Dark matter 

I read a story the other day about girl who was suicidal. She was suicidal but didn’t want to kill herself. Seems contradictory but I get it. 

Today, the sun is shining, it’s a beautiful day and I just heard that my best friend tried to kill themselves last night. 

It scares the absolute crap out of me that our brains are powerful enough to do this. I know this person does not want to die. But they want to end their turbulent relationship with themselves and they want life to be easy and kind and they want to embrace it with their every fibre of their being.  Having a dark side take over is the scariest thing in the world and keeping it at bay seems like a full time job. They’re scared. 

What the hell do you say to someone who tried to kill themself? What do you do to make that person better? Just listen? I don’t know that that’s enough. I want it to be, but I want to take this away from this person and let them live! I don’t know how to do that. 

What today has shown me is that even when I feel depressed, down, anxious, scared, all of those things; other people so close to you feel it too and it puts things into perspective. Selfishly, it’s also quite reassuring. 

I just hope and pray that this person knows how loved they are; knows how much we need them, and how this will pass and they will get better.  I also hope that they accept the help. 

I love you you know. You’re crazy beautiful and the most creative, hilarious, talented and kind person I know.  

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